Friday, November 26, 2010


I've been thinking a lot about possession. I always have. When I worked retail, I used to muse the changing of ownership, does it occur when the person picks up the item and claims it? When they put it on the register? When they pay for it? When it's in the bag? When they walk out of the store?
Some nights it was slow.
It made the whole situation very awkward when they couldn't pay. I know that they don't officially own it until money is exchanged, but I feel like picking it had to do something, in their mind they owned it when they brought it up and saying no felt... well, awkward. When do you truly possess something?
When does something, or somewhere possess you?
Today one of those spammy message things asked me if I live in Vancouver. I said no.
I know I moved to Scotland, and I've been moving to Scotland for a while, but just tonight it occurred to me I did it. Scotland, in a way, it possesses me. How and when did that occur?
It kind of just hit me right now.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Last days in London.

So, my strategy here has been to just go with what happens. And what's happenin' is super fun to go with. I was rooming with these Irish kids the day before yesterday and they adopted me as their new weird friend. So, when they were like, "Want to go clubbing?" I said, my new fave word by the way, "Yeah." We went and had a great night, we started at this pub where they mixed strongbow with blackcurrant juice- dangerous stuff. Then we ended up at this club where it was 90's night- at least I hope it was 90's night and not like that bar in Switzerland that played strange music in a non ironic way. I danced a lot, we met some English guys who were living in Seville. They were fun.
Yesterday England was playing the All Blacks. I found the only pub with a TV. This guy who was in his late 40's sat down and was all like, "ah, dya want me to 'lain the 'ame to ya love?"
I just want to point out that I really like how men here do the whole 'love' thing. Love and sweetheart. I explained that I played back home and he was like, "Ahhh. Who are ya goin' for then?" then his cousin ended up coming and I had a very interesting chat. Listening to the two of them bickering reminded me of my Dad and any one of his brothers just bantering. So funny.
After I went to the hostel, and I saw a note on my door from one of the girls I went clubbing with- not an Irish girl, she's from Australia. We ended up doing a pub crawl. We started at this place and I had a cheeseburger. I'm going to take a minute to talk about this cheeseburger. It was one of the best I've ever had- and we all know how I feel about cheeseburgers. The difference, in my opinion is homemade relish. It just makes it taste better. Then we went through the bars and ended up at ministry of sound- London's first house club. I had a lot of fun dancing, however, now I smell and really need to go eat some roast and shower.
You know how it is.

Friday, November 5, 2010

London- ALONE

So guys, I’m doing laundry because I smell. Life’s fantastic like that. I got my hair cut and my bangs are finally fixed, they no longer look like I cut them with safety scissors and thread snips. The guy thought I was entertaining, and he was awesome. I also encountered the “bangs make me look like I’m 30” thing. But, what can you do. He said I really didn’t cut them badly... undiscovered talent maybe? Is it just like sewing? Honestly, I don’t think I’d want to work that closely to people’s faces. I’m too absent minded and well... I don’t even know.
Anyway, as mentioned I smell. It’s pretty. I smell because I spent 4 days doing journal entries. I chugged a litre and a half of red bull the other day and looked at the wall for 10 minutes and blinked.
I’ve been terrible and haven’t been writing, so I’m going to do a basic overview of my time in each city:
Rome: I was really sick. I ended up throwing up from non alcohol related conditions (though I think that a lot of my vomiting had to do with the slop they were feeding us. It was spam. The only person allowed to seriously serve spam is my 11th grade English teacher because she is AWESOME.) but, I still went and saw Rome. Even though I was often alone. I went to Ostia and LOVED it, the Mediterranean Sea is beautiful, SO beautiful.
Florence: I thought I was making headway on my little social dis-ease I was having with the people I was on the trip with, however, that all blew to bits when I got told that everyone secretly calls me know-y behind my back and rightfully thinks that I’m a huge loser. I decided I didn’t care and didn’t want to be friends with anyone anyway. Florence is cool, I did a lot of cafe-ing and my roommate was awesome, it just sucks it turned out like it did.
Venice: I LOVE VENICE! I love my Nonno and I respect him and everything but why the fuck did he move to Canada when he had VENICE right there. VENICE! I wish I could’ve stayed longer. I got my own little cabin because no one wanted to room with me. I loved it. Fantastic times.
Lucerne: First experience where I didn’t have my own room. We had an extra move in with us. The profs arranged the food, we had stuff cooked by the owners wife every night, it was good. I had missed veggies and whole wheat bread. Yummy times. I went out on my own one night and had a really good time. I watched some rugby, had some beer. The first bar I went to was the one my prof recommended, I stayed for a beer and listened to, IN THIS ORDER: La Vida Loca, Mambo Number 5, and, The Macarena. This was, keep in mind, NON IRONICALLY. I left before I burst out laughing. It was BAD. All in all I like Switzerland. It’s a lot like Vancouver. I’m really, really happy I bought a jacket in Florence though. Best. Decision. Ever.
Paris: When in Paris, Just Say Oui! It’s a total new way of life. I like Paris. Men stop me in the street to tell me I’m pretty. It’s fantastic and I miss it a LOT. Like a lot a lot. I don’t like Modern Art and my mark suffered because apparently I’m not allowed to have a negative opinion on ANYTHING. I mean REALLY. Anyway, if you haven’t been to Paris, go to Paris. Also, the lady at Sephora thought I was Parisian. Oh, and the food! I mean, my lunches, not the “food” they gave us at the “hotel”.
London: Well, I’m still here. But when I was with the group... I had the two best roomies ever. It was like a fun little party all the time. I actually really miss them. I managed to sprain my knee while getting out of a booth, and I saw Les Miserables with the group (WOW!) and Wicked with some of the people (double WOW). It’s strange, last night I wasn’t sad. I felt bad, everyone was like crying, and all like upset and whatnot and I was like, “I’m sad about some people, but some people it’s like, whateves.” Actually, after brekkie this morning, I miss the full English breakfast more than most of the people.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Burn Out

Tonight, as I was packing, a thought crossed my mind,

"I should just go to the airport tomorrow and go back"

At this time, I am so burnt out, it's actually taking a physical toll on my body. My mind doesn't care about anything, I forget how to be social and happy, my knee is sprained and I'm just... drained. I know that I'm a good person, with a good personality- and a lot of it, but I just feel so suppressed and tired. Just tired and drained.
I can't go home tomorrow- I have tickets to a rugby game in Edinburgh on the 13th, All Blacks vs. Scotland. If I die, I want someone to Lucky Stiff me up and bring my corpse there. Buy me a beer and let me at least have one last hurrah.
That's kind of a shitty thing to think...